How To Bring Up Life Insurance Without Sounding Greedy?
Posted June 15, 2009 – 6:36 pm in: structured settlements FAQMy mother only has my brother on her life insurance, there is only the 2 of us and she is 83. We’ve always been close so I don’t understand this at all.
Tags: Bring, Greedy, Insurance, Life, Sounding, Without
9 Comments
It’s possible that when she took out the policy, she was angry with you, or saw him as needy and you as self-sufficient, or any other reason which seemed valid to her at the time.
I suggest you and your brother ask her if omitting you is intentional some time where you are together.
She has the right to do what she likes with her assets, no matter how unfair, of course, so be prepared to accept her decision if that’s what it is.
touchy, but if your mother has her faculties she is well aware that only your brother is on the insurance policy,
without knowing your current situation and your brother maybe your mother feels you are in a better position then your brother
but how not to sound greedy? can not be avoided since it is about monies in the end
Life insurance is meant to help the survivors pay for their daily needs once the breadwinner is gone. It’s not a lottery that you get a payday when someone dies. Maybe your brother is not as good at supporting himself as you are? Maybe the policy was drawn up before you were born? Or maybe your brother has kids and you don’t? Regardless, it’s going to be very hard for your mom to get more insurance at her age and, unless she supports you, I think you should just let it go.
Ask her, maybe she just forgot to add you or maybe there is a reason why you were left off.
sometimes parents pick one child for insurance, leaving other assets to other kids, or maybe there is some conflict for you to resolve now with her.
You have been given some very good answers already. But your very short description of the scenario is woefully inadequate for anyone to really advise you. As a retired insurance man I can tell you that there are four principle parties in a contract of insurance; (1) The POLICY OWNER, (2) The PREMIUM PAYER, (3) The INSURED and (4) the BENEFICIARY. Some of these are actually the same person, it depends upon the circumstances.
The Policy owner and the Premium Payer are usually the same person, but not always. The Insured may also be the same person. But obviously, the Insured and the Beneficiary cannot be the same person.
Your assumption seems to be that your mother was Policy owner, premium payer and insured, while the beneficiary was your brother. It is possible that your brother was the Policyowner, Premium Payer and Beneficiary. If this were the case, then he would certainly be justified in receiving your mother’s death benefit on the policy since he has earned it by paying the premiums all these years.
Greetings!
What is the greater concern for you: Not sounding greedy, or the money? Ultimately, you will be guided by whatever is more important to you.
Is it really about the $ for you , or could it be that you feel excluded in some way?
Here are some other things to think about:
1) Has she drawn up a will? If so, what does she plan to leave you? Maybe your brother gets the life insurance and you get everything else?
2) What’s your relationship with you brother? If she leaves him the life insurance, would he give you 1/2?
3) Are you THAT hard-up for cash that you would worry your 83 year old mom about money? What about spending as much quality time with her in her golden years as possible? In the end, you will eventually spend whatever money you get from her death. The money will be gone. All that you’ll have are the memories of her. What memories are your actions creating now?
I wish you Peace.
Wow thats a toughie.
I would just come out and ask her if it was me.
Life insurance is intended to take care of people who are disabled or otherwise unable to care for themselves should a caretaker die .
OR , maybe your brother is the one who took out the policy (paid for it ) so he only put his name on it ?
How did you become aware of it ?
Did mom tell you ? or you found it ?
Ask her , she may know .
>
Well, what’s the POINT of asking? Are you JEALOUS of your brother being beneficiary? How do you know the policy is even still ACTIVE?
Neither of you are kids. An adult can distribute their money any way they want.
Personally, I’m encouraging my folks to spend it all before they go. We “kids” can fend for ourselves.
As far as your direct question goes, you will have to figure out what is motivating you, besides greed. You MIGHT want to go at it in the direction of asking her if she wants to pre-plan her funeral, and then ask if she’s got arrangements for the costs.